To The Ones Becoming: I Realized I Have No Respect For Time

I realized I have no respect for time… or maybe it’s overconfidence.

Yes, I have a very busy life (though a productive one).

"Almost everyone does, Juliana, lol"

Me: I know and that is why I am here writing about this. I know not all high achievers or ambitious people give 19 waking hours to tasks without white spaces or buffers.

This busy life is structured. Very structured. Meaning, I know what I want to do each day. The problem is when to do it.

I struggle with scheduling. Some days, I’m busy from 4:30 AM to midnight. That’s not sustainable, and I feel it.

I’ve said this countless times: I crave depth. I know and have seen what it can do for me. The more focus I give something, the quicker I can finish it. But I’m still learning to be a person of depth, still recovering from social media attention drain, though I occasionally relapse. 

Right now, gathering all my attention on one task takes time. And yes, it drains me. Some days, I feel my willpower is about to run out.

Structure helps me stand strong each day. But I realize I rely too much on willpower instead of respecting time itself. I haven’t fully mastered time management or time blocking. I honestly thought I had. 

I took a virtual assistant course once and leaned heavily into calendar management because procrastination was a big problem for me. I studied it deeply, practiced it, and it worked, back then. But now, I’ll honestly say I haven’t fully mastered it. 

The commitment I made then is different and bulkier than it is now, and everything I thought I knew isn’t enough this time.

Honestly? I don’t fully respect time yet. I still think, “I can always get it done,” or “There’s still time.” That’s why I sometimes spend 12–14 hours trying to get things done every day, even though I already have structure.

The challenge is structuring my day effectively, especially when unpredictability shows up. Some days, I plan my career tasks or personal projects, and then something unexpected happens. Tasks collide, priorities shift, or a new urgent item appears. And just like that, my carefully crafted schedule gets derailed.

I love structure because my brain gets fuzzy when I have too much to do. I try to stick to a regimen, but I’m surrounded by people and circumstances that don’t follow my rhythm, and I can’t control that. I have to find my own way around it.

I know that balance isn’t about doing less; it’s about doing things better. I want to keep all my responsibilities, my work, my community, my blog, my projects, my faith, but without burning out. I need to work smarter, not just longer.

Right now, I’m learning how to structure my time intentionally. I’m experimenting with time blocks that can survive unpredictability. I’m paying attention to how much mental energy each task takes, when I need breaks, and how to protect my focus without isolating myself completely.

I’m also going back to everything I know about calendar management. I cannot give up; I’ve come too far. I’ve learned that I’m not operating on a sustainable system yet.

The biggest thing I realized this week is that balance is a practice. It’s not perfection. Some days I fail, some days I get pulled off track. But every day, I learn a little more about respecting my time, protecting my focus, and living intentionally inside my structure.

I’m working toward a rhythm where I can honor my commitments without burning out, where I can be productive without exhaustion, where structure actually serves me instead of controlling me.

This reflection is me being honest with myself that managing time and energy is a process. I don’t have it all figured out, but I’m trying. I’m experimenting. I’m adjusting. And I’m learning.

This is where I am today, struggling, observing, figuring it out, and growing.

This is my becoming to you, the ones becoming.

Do you believe 24 hours is not enough or you just need to manage your time better?

I’d like to hear from you.

With love, 

Olayide Juliana

A steward who believes that light shed, knowledge shared, and beliefs reviewed can make both me and the world better.

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