The Days I Chose to Show Up — Day Five: Patience, Principles and a lagging PC

Patience, Principles and a lagging PC

By Olayide Juliana

This morning, I found myself stuck, waiting for my system to boot. It’s an old, laggy machine, and every time I turn it on, there’s this familiar dread. Nothing moves. Nothing loads. And all I can do is wait.

People tell me there’s not much I can do about it. Just bear with it. And so I try. But let me be honest: it’s nerve-wracking, frustrating, and incredibly demotivating to deal with this every single day.

It gets to me in ways I don't always admit. I start thinking: If only I had more money, I wouldn’t have to deal with this. That thought tempts me. It whispers: Drop your principles. Forget about chasing value. Just chase money. Grab it. Never look back.

It’s an ugly temptation.

But then I catch myself. I remind myself this is just a phase—a phase that will pass. I remember why I chose to prioritize value over money in the first place. Even if my circumstances aren't perfect now, I can still do good work. I can still move forward. I can change this eventually. But for now, I’ll bear with it.

And honestly, I don’t even know why I’m writing all of this down at 9:23 a.m. at work. I guess I’m just waiting for “the system” to load and thinking.

But there’s a lesson in this small, silly moment. Life doesn’t always take the shape we want. Sometimes you’re stuck with a lagging computer at 9:24 a.m. on a Thursday. Sometimes everything runs perfectly.

Frustration will test your values. It’ll try to make you lose your mind. Don’t let it. That’s my humble advice—to myself, and to anyone reading this.

P.S. The system has finally responded. Adios!

My name is Olayide Juliana, a steward. I believe light shed, knowledge shared, and beliefs reviewed can make both me and the world better.

P.P.S. This is Day 5—the last in my The Days I Chose to Show Up series. If you’re just finding this now, you’re welcome to read the previous days too. Thank you for reading.

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