To The Ones Becoming: I Will Continue To Fight For My Life

Firstly, this is my cue to always write as I am inspired.

The topic of this week is on fighting for my life, and that is because sometime this week, I was overwhelmed and I had a meltdown.

I realized that I had been welling up a lot of things down my throat, and a meaningless trigger burst through it before I could say jack.

I was tempted to withdraw, my best coping mechanism.

I thought about the last 10 weeks, how I have travailed through hard, unpredictable, tiresome, and busy days.

I have come too far, I thought to myself.

I have to pull myself together and continue to fight for my life.

I cannot afford to give up.

I just can’t.

I love motivation.

I don’t care about the slur around motivation and motivational speakers because I believe they have an impact they make in the life of someone, although I also believe another truth, that motivation is not enough.

I hold that balance in my mind.

So this week, I deployed both of these truths to my reality.

I. Will. Continue. To. Fight. For. My. Life. Every day.

This is easier said than done, and motivation alone will not help me travail each day.

Hear me out, I am not saying my life is full of hardship and pain and misery, nope.

I’m just saying that I am living life, and as a human, you should know that it is not a smooth adventure.

Nope.

Life has ups and downs, trials and temptations, highs and lows, and that is what makes life life.

That is what makes life worth living, the uncertainties, the quests, and the conquests.

But not everyone wins in this journey, and that is what I am talking about.

I am willing to fight for my life.

To not get drowned in this journey.

To not give up, on my choices and beliefs.

I want a kind of life.

The sacrifices it requires seem too much, but I want that life, so I don’t want to give up on fighting whatever inner or outer battles and struggles it takes to get it.

This fight doesn’t mean doing anything crazy, trust me.

To me, it means showing up every day, moving on quickly from disappointment, failing forward, falling once to rise seven times stronger.

To cry when I have to, clean my eyes, and still lock in harder.

Even when everything seems not to be working like I want, to still give the same diligence, commitment, and intentionality.

To give the same integrity and honesty to building my values and vision even when no one is watching.

To truly become.

Sincerely, I want to go to a deserted field and scream out my lungs.

I seem to be sacrificing my social life for isolation to build a life 100,000 miles away from my comfort zone, and you should know that is not an easy one.

And so, I just want to scream and take a break from this fast-paced life.

But after I finish screaming, I want to adjust myself and get back to wherever I stopped immediately, like I never did scream a few minutes ago, lol.

That is the whole point of this reflection, that I will continue to fight for my life.

I will not ignore life’s realities.

I will acknowledge them and continue to keep going.

I have realized that in the end, life will adjust, and I will be the winner.

I will acknowledge that I might not be the smartest person in a room, but I will also acknowledge the fact that the words of my mouth are not useless, and so I will speak up.

Stage fright might hold me tight in my throat, but I will volunteer to speak.

I might not feel like reading a book or writing a reflection, but I will open the book and continue to stare at the words till they start to make their way to my head and comprehension.

I will write even though it may be filled with grammatical errors, typos, disconnected flow of thoughts, and long sentences.

I will continue to create content on development communications, even though it costs me evenings after my 9–5 and even my weekends.

I will continue to track my finances every day, even though I don’t have plenty money or much control over how I spend.

I will keep putting effort into making, managing, and multiplying money, even though it seems like I am dashing taxi drivers my hard-earned money.

Every effort counts, whether good or bad, and so I will continue to give good effort to my life.

I will keep fighting for my life.

I will keep trying to become that version of me that God has designed me to be.

I will keep becoming.

This is my becoming to you, the ones becoming.

I hope you had a good read.

With love, 

Olayide Juliana

A steward who believes that light shed, knowledge shared, and beliefs reviewed can make both me and the world better.

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