To the Ones Becoming

Just Start. I honestly wish I could write only that and call it a wrap, because truly, it is not more, not less. Just start. We have all heard this phrase countless times. And I think that is exactly why I am writing about it today. Sometimes, when something is repeated too often, we begin to lose its weight. Especially when people we don’t trust or don’t think know what they are saying keep saying it. But I’ve realized something. The fact that a word or phrase is repeated by everyone does not and will never undermine its meaning. I know this because I have seen so many phrases we dismiss as “motivational talk” work powerfully in my own life, once I actually practice them. One of them is: just start. Just start clueless. Just start uncertain. Just start full of doubt. Just start not ready. Just start afraid. Just start . We are 53 days into the year. I found myself thinking that if I hadn’t started the things I began on January 1st, these 53 days would still have passed, but they w...

The year is getting busier. I must say. This week, I struggled to tick off everything on my list. I thought I had a structure in place. (Screams.😂) But the good thing is this: I actually do have a structure. And if I didn’t, with how busy the week became, I would have faltered. I would have failed, woefully, not positively, and maybe even given up. But I prevailed. So many things tugged at my attention. So many small urgencies tried to scatter me. But I prevailed. And it’s too late to give up now. If you haven’t taken one lesson from all the reflections I’ve written so far, let this be the one: Structure will save your life. It will guard and shield you. This week showed me something important. The year is getting busier. So my structure cannot remain fragile. It has to evolve. For example, with my community, I currently facilitate a weekly finance-focused check-in. That is good. It helps the community grow. But I realized something: I can speed up growth by being more intentional ab...

I turned a new age on Monday, and I am happy about it. I don’t exactly know how I feel, but I know I am happy. I’ve been thinking a lot about my 20s, especially after reading Oladimeji Ajegbile’s reflection on Substack about how our 20s won’t last forever, how they are for building, proving, urgency, and showing up publicly while pretending not to be afraid. How they are for building habits that don’t disappear overnight. That last part is where my focus lies today: habits that don’t disappear overnight. First, I want to say this plainly, building good habits is hard. (This is my personal, unstable philosophy, lol.) Building bad habits, on the other hand, is one of the easiest things on earth. I once read about how the brain works when it comes to habits. When the brain discovers that a habit makes us happy, relaxed, or comfortable, it encourages it. But when it discovers that a habit makes us tired, worried, or stretched, it tries, out of its own version of goodwill, to protect us fro...

Some things I thought I had figured out at the start of the year… I quickly realized I hadn’t. I started the year silently. No loud  “this year is about this or that”  on my status. I just showed up to greet a few people on my contact list a Happy New Year, a Happy New Year on my status, and that was all. I did that intentionally, to prove something to myself. I was done with the “new year, new me” mantra because it doesn’t work. I didn’t try to wake up early on this day, nor did I shower or even have breakfast early. If not for my parents, I wouldn’t have even gone out of the house. It was a new year, true. I felt all the emotions of  “this is a new year, true” . But I also knew, deep down, that it didn’t mean anything had changed within me as a person. I still have fears. I still have habits that drain me. I still have passions I wish to start. And, mostly, there is still a version of me I am yet to become. So, I didn’t try to gas myself up at all. Instead, I sat with r...